Bittersweet Farm 2: Joyful Spirit Read online

  “And I’m saying this is a choice for them. I once had a horse who would pretend to be lame. They don’t have to cooperate. I know you don’t want to believe it but they want to be in a partnership with us. You should see the look on CB’s face when you come down the aisle. He doesn’t look like that for me.”

  “If that’s true ...” I started.

  “It is,” Lockie said over me.

  “Then I owe him. He should be treated with dignity.”

  “He is. You had the bars removed from his stall. He poops and you run in there with a manure fork. The race-track hay is imported from Canada. He’s got a great life.”

  “Others are not that lucky.”

  “No, they’re not but you can only take care of whoever is put in your path. You learned the wrong lesson from your mother’s death.”

  “Don’t go there.”

  “Watch me. You learned to fear loss when she was trying to help you become a warrior.”

  “You know this without knowing my mother, by only knowing me for a couple months?”

  Lockie nodded and squeezed my hand.

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “What do you lose if I’m right?”

  I shook my head. I didn’t know if I wanted to scream or cry. Whatever it was, was right at the high watermark and in another minute the emotions would submerge me.

  “You can only lose everything in your life that doesn’t work anymore. Don’t fight to keep it. Fight for something worthy of you.”

  I waved my hand and his through the air.

  “Come here, Silly.”

  Lockie pulled me closer.

  My face against his chest, I was enveloped by him. It was as though an eraser had been taken to the outlines of our selves.

  ***

  We went to the farm in Killiam, bought the horse without either of us riding him, brought him home and turned him out in the pasture with the run-in shed.

  There was a moment as Lockie turned from the gate, the sun was near the horizon but hadn’t yet set, the light was golden and he looked like all that was good. I was mesmerized.

  “What, Silly?”

  I put my arms around his neck and he put his arms around me.

  “Are you really just a highly paid babysitter?” I asked.

  He didn’t reply.

  “Don’t answer. It doesn’t matter.”

  Lockie laughed. “Of course it matters and I’m not. Are you capable of finding something wrong in everything?”

  “No.”

  “I love it when you lie to yourself.”

  “Why?”

  “You’re such a bad liar.”

  I wanted to stay there forever but instead we went back to the house.

  ***

  It was just as well Lockie hadn’t bothered to enter Greer into the first jumper class of the day because she was out late, overslept and I was in charge of getting her in gear. She, of course, took a shower shouting at me the entire time.

  “Tick tock, Greer. If you aren’t ready by eight, we’re staying here.”

  “Did he tell you to say that to me or are you making it up?”

  She stepped out of the shower.

  “Lockie said it. You have a class at ten and it will take an hour to get there.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “Middlebury.”

  “Martie Wyrick’s barn?”

  “Yes. So?”

  “I didn’t know.”

  “How could you not know?”

  Greer shrugged then pulled on her panties followed by tugging on her breeches.

  We argued about nothing all the way downstairs where Jules handed me a large picnic basket that weighed a ton.

  “You shouldn’t eat the food on the show grounds,” she said.

  “So you’re giving me enough to feed everyone?”

  Jules kissed me. “I don’t know how long this will take.”

  “We should be home in time for dinner,” I replied going out the door.

  Greer glared at Jules. “Yeah, I don’t want to kiss you either.”

  Jules laughed.

  This day was going to go on record for having the longest morning in history.

  Counterpoint was standing on the aisle as we entered the barn.

  “He’s not groomed,” Greer said as grabbed his tail dotted with pine shavings.

  Lockie came out of the tack room. “I told you to take care of your horse. Did you think I was kidding?”

  “Yes.”

  “I wasn’t.”

  “You can groom him at the show,” I said.

  “He needs a bath.”

  “You should have done that yesterday and put a sheet on him overnight,” Lockie replied as he went to the truck. “Are we going or not?”

  “Tal, are you going to help me?” Greer asked.

  “No,” Lockie replied.

  “Let her answer for herself!” Greer shouted.

  “We have rules in this barn. I’m sorry if you don’t like them but we all adhere to them.”

  “On whose say-so?”

  “Your father gave me autonomy over the barn,” Lockie said. “Smile or as close as you can get to it and we’ll leave for your horse show. Otherwise, Talia and I have plenty to do here today. Your choice.”

  Greer unclipped Counterpoint, lead him out of the barn walked him up the ramp to our van secured him inside.

  “You follow us in your car,” Lockie told her.

  “Why?”

  “Because you might want to leave before we do and I don’t want to hear you whine for an hour.” Lockie got in the truck’s cab.

  I got into the passenger side as fastened the seat belt as we drove up the driveway.

  “This shouldn’t be perceived as questioning you...” I started.

  “But you’re going to question me.”

  “Yes. Why are you treating her this way?”

  “I would treat you the exact same way if you behaved like that. I used to run the barn for a man in Santa Barbara. What a great ranch that was. Right on the ocean. There’s not much ocean property on that part of the coast, but he owned most of it. His daughters were a lot like Greer. Worse in some ways.”

  “How could you be worse?”

  “Because all their friends were movie stars, or the children of celebrities. There’s a private school but it’s more of a holding pen. These kids are required to attend school so they go there. The facility is an old estate in Montecito and they learn everything they need to know to navigate the world in which they will live.”

  I thought about it for a moment. “You thought we were like that.”

  “I did.”

  I looked at him.

  “Why wouldn’t I? I thought it was the same situation but on the East Coast. I was happy to get anything after the accident.”

  “We were your only job offer?”

  “Pretty much. You know I came to Bittersweet with some medical issues. Your father was very generous and I continue to be very grateful.”

  “That’s nice but I feel worse and worse about this.”

  Lockie smiled. “Why?”

  “You thought you were going to be training two more brats.”

  “The last two brats, as you call them, both made it to the Nationals.”

  “So it was a disappointment coming here.”

  “Tali, you’re doing it again.”

  “What?”

  “Seeing the worst in everything.”

  “I wasn’t even polite that first day.”

  “You were adorable and funny and I thought what a lucky guy I was to have found such a terrific place to live.”

  “Did you really?”

  “Yes.”

  I didn’t believe him because that’s not how I would have felt.

  “I’m sorry I was so rude that day.”

  “I think you apologized already.”

  “I’m still sorry.”

  “Why were you rude?”

  “I had seen
Greer with Rui the week before. All spring, it had been one upset after another. You walked up to the house so handsome and I could predict the future.”

  “You thought I was handsome?”

  “Yes.”

  “Silly!” Lockie reached over with his hand and touched my arm.

  “You know how good looking you are.”

  “Then I’m lucky I fell on my head and not my face!”

  “Please. I hate thinking about that day.” It made me queasy to imagine Lockie being thrown into that berm of earth and logs.

  “You weren’t there.”

  “You were barely there.”

  “After the fall, I sure wasn’t.”

  “How were you the day you arrived at Bittersweet?”

  “That was a long day of driving. I had a headache for the last six hours of the trip, and found the apartment, you said I would. I lay down and tried to sleep it off because I knew you two had lessons first thing in the morning.”

  “If you didn’t feel well, no one would have held it against you.”

  “Tal. You would have.”

  Looking out the window for a long time, I decided maybe Greer was right about me. Maybe I did have the capacity to be a bitch. My mother would have been very displeased to see me act the way I had over the past year.

  “You have an enormous capacity for patience,” I said to him.

  Lockie turned the van down a road and there were already trailers lining the road waiting to be directed into the field with parking.

  “Everyone comes along at their own speed.”

  Chapter Twelve

  A stable hand wearing an orange vest pointed down the field and we followed a four-horse trailer to the end of the rows. It was well into the morning and most of the competitors had arrived at dawn. Lockie parked and shut off the engine.

  Greer pulled up alongside of the van and jumped out of her car. “We’re hell and gone from the rings.”

  “What difference does it make to you? It’s not like you’ll have to walk over there like we do.”

  “Next time, assuming there will be a next time, wake up when you’re supposed to,” Lockie said. “We did the chores, took showers, had breakfast, and were still waiting for you to drag yourself out of bed. Now you’re complaining that we’re parked at the far end of the field?”

  Greer paused. “No.”

  “Thank you. Get your horse out of the van, tack him up, get on and come over to the warm up area. Your first class was scheduled for ten and that’s soon. I’ll go get your number and have a look at the course.”

  Lockie began walking toward the barn and indoor arena.

  Greer stood there for a moment.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “I haven’t been to an unrated show in years.”

  “You have to start your jumper career somewhere.”

  “I was supposed to be at the National.”

  “You’re riding jumpers now and that’s perfect for you.”

  Greer started up the ramp. “Will you help me clean Counterpoint up?”

  Lockie didn’t want her to get any help.

  “I’ll owe you.”

  “Not every interaction between people is quid pro quo. You don’t have to buy me off. If I help you it’s because you...”

  “Is the word you’re looking for incapable?”

  “No, it’s not.”

  I thought about what my mother would have said. People make mistakes. Even with the best intentions or efforts. That’s the way life is.

  “Let’s just get it done so you can get to the ring before you miss the class.”

  “He’ll know you helped.”

  I nodded. Yes, Lockie would know.

  Fortunately, jumpers weren’t braided for shows except at the upper levels, and Counterpoint’s mane had been pulled recently. After Greer removed the shavings from his tail, and gave it a quick brush, he looked quite respectable even if a little rough around the edges.

  We got him tacked and Greer into the saddle in under five minutes and I followed her toward the crowds. There was a bottleneck at a gateway and we had to pause for a moment.

  “I know I’m the last person you want to take advice from but I’ll give it a try anyway. Just do whatever Lockie tells you to do. I know you can.”

  The way cleared in front of us and Greer trotted off without saying anything.

  I found Lockie, predictably, by the bulletin board where the diagrams for all the courses were posted and slipped my hand into his.

  “They don’t have the course up yet so we can’t walk it,” he said squeezing my hand.

  “I helped Greer.”

  He leaned over and kissed my cheek. “Of course you did. I expected that.”

  “You said she had to do it by herself.”

  “That would have been better. She’ll learn.” He pointed to the sheet to our left. “Look at this line, Tali. Greer will actually need to be awake to make this turn.”

  “I thought this was supposed to be easy.”

  “You can’t have a baby jumper class that goes twice around the outside. The fences aren’t that big.”

  I studied the diagram more closely. “Is that a bounce combination?”

  “Yes.”

  “What’s that doing in a small show?”

  “It’s there as a learning experience.”

  A bounce was a no-stride combination. The competitors would jump the first fence and immediately be confronted by the second without a stride between the two.

  In this case, the first fence was a plain vertical and the second was an oxer, two sets of jump standards placed close together with rails at the same height creating a spread fence. That was going to require the right speed and enough impulsion to be able to power over the oxer.

  “When are they going to set up these fences?”

  “As soon as the equitation over fences class is done.”

  “Are they going to give everyone a chance to walk the course?”

  “There will be ten minutes. Let’s go find her in the warm-up area.”

  “I told Greer to do everything you asked her to do.”

  He squeezed my hand. “Was that for me or for her?”

  “For me!”

  Greer was cantering in a large circle at the edge of the field because there were about a dozen kids on horses under varying degrees of control jumping the practice fence. She saw us, slowed to a trot and came toward us.

  “This is a madhouse out here,” Greer said.

  “Is he warmed up?”

  “I haven’t jumped him.”

  Lockie glanced over to the swelling crowd of ponies and horses racing around in the warm-up area. “That’s fine, don’t worry about it. The fences aren’t that big.”

  Greer was about to protest, glanced toward me then shook her head slightly.

  “We need to get to the in-gate,” he said and we began walking in that direction.

  Mothers were hurrying after children, trainers were looking for riders, and two young girls were chasing a loose pony still wearing its stable sheet and leg wraps. I felt like a time traveler in my own life. Any one of these young riders could have been me.

  I watched as a pony hunter over fences class was pinned and the winners exited.

  Lockie pushed Counterpoint’s head in the direction of the other ring. “Go into the hunter ring and pop over the first two fences,” he told Greer.

  “What?”

  “Quick.”

  “They’ll be angry,” Greer said as she snaked her way through the waiting jumpers.

  “So what?”

  I followed them and Greer trotted through the open gate.

  “Miss!” The ring steward noticed someone had entered and was heading toward the fences. “You can’t do that! You must leave!”

  Lockie walked up to the man who shook his head vigorously. Lockie kept talking as Greer jumped all the fences around the outside of the ring then trotted out the exit.

  Lockie smile
d and left the ring. “Go to the in-gate!” He called to Greer and she made her way through the crowd.

  “I thought you were trying to be a good influence on her.”

  “It’s easier to apologize than to ask for permission,” Lockie replied. “We’re here to win, aren’t we?”

  “No, we’re here to school.”

  Lockie kissed my cheek, took hold of my arm and propelled me to the jumper ring. “You’re so cute.”

  Reaching the gate, the crew was moving standards around and a tractor was leaving by the out-gate having deposited a roll-top jump at the far end of the ring.

  Greer slid off Counterpoint and handed me the reins. Lockie looked at her.

  “Would you please hold him for me?”

  “Yes, I will.”

  Lockie and Greer as well as many other trainers and riders teams entered the ring to walk the course. The purpose was to discuss how each jump should be taken, from what angle, and how many strides the horses would have between the fences.

  This was far more preparation than I had ever done with Butch, who I depended on to figure it out for himself.

  Along with his sunglasses, Lockie was wearing dark jeans, our stable colors polo shirt and mahogany paddock boots. He rarely wore a baseball cap because he said he was neither a baseball player nor a kid. Always neat, always clean, always the consummate professional, Lockie had transformed our backyard barn into a show stable in a way that no one else had.

  Rui had treated the farm as if it was a vacation spot. He showed up late for lessons, slept in, didn’t come home and left Pavel and Tracy to take up the slack. His music was loud and so was he. He was a good rider, a good trainer and a lousy coach, but we had a reputation and not very many people wanted to deal with Greer.

  Mellissa from Canada made sure the word was spread throughout the show circuit that Greer was vile and I was uncooperative. Anything said will always come back to you, sooner or later, and I had heard her litany of complaints. It was not as though Mellissa wasn’t paid extremely well for the ten days she managed to hang on.

  In a way, it was understandable why Greer chased her off. Mellissa hadn’t possessed the most sunny of personalities even before she knew us.

  I was glad she was gone. I was glad they were all gone. Pulling a piece of carrot out of my pocket, I held it out for Counterpoint and he crunched it into small pieces that dotted his lips orange. I wiped his mouth with the bottom of my shirt.