Bittersweet Farm 2: Joyful Spirit Read online

  “Are you saying that everything my mother had to do in this lifetime was completed?”

  “I know she had enough time to raise a beautiful daughter who is enormously kind and compassionate.”

  “And? Aren’t you going to list all my failings? How I’ve had a pretend boyfriend and slapped my sister and insult everyone?”

  “No.”

  “I have disappointed everyone except my mother.”

  “I’m not disappointed.”

  “I don’t believe you. We’ve been working for almost two months, I still ride dressage as if I’m riding hunter seat, I don’t want to do the hunter pace, and I ...”

  “Came here when I needed you. That’s what’s important,” Lockie said.

  “No.”

  “You’re going to tell me what’s important to me?”

  “If the fact that I showed up when you called me is so crucial, why are you so annoyed with me tonight?”

  “I’m not. You’re upset and you have been upset since the day I arrived and obviously long before that. You’re so uncomfortable, Tal. I’m here to help you get through it.”

  “I don’t think I can. This is what’s normal.”

  “Then we’ll retrain you.”

  “You said my mother didn’t spoil me. She did. She thought I was perfect. There are times I think I will chase that the rest of my life, trying to duplicate that feeling of being so acceptable. But it’s impossible. It was my mother and only she could see me as she saw me.”

  “I think you’re perfect. I’ve never met a better you. Not anywhere.”

  I shook my head. “I’ll disappoint you.”

  “We’ll see who disappoints who first.”

  “How would you disappoint me?”

  “I couldn’t begin to imagine how and neither can you.” He kissed my head. “Can we go to sleep now?”

  “Yes.”

  We lay down on top of the quilt, he turned out the light and reached for my hand.

  “Lockie, will CB forgive me?”

  “He’s crazy about you. He’d sit in your lap if he could. Go to sleep, Talia.”

  The next morning, the sun was trying to come out from behind gray clouds and my feet squished on the grass as I went to the house. When I opened the door, my father was at the kitchen table and Jules was making breakfast.

  “I looked in your room, your bed wasn’t slept in so I’m assuming Lockie’s was.”

  I removed my boots. “On not in.”

  My father looked at me.

  “We slept together but we didn’t sleep together. Don’t fire him.”

  “I can’t very well tell you not to do what I’ve done. You’re too old for that.”

  “You did with Greer.”

  “Rui was using her.”

  Greer entered the kitchen. “What makes you think Lockie isn’t using the Virgin Vixen?”

  The door opened and we all turned to see Lockie enter.

  “Did I get here at a bad time?”

  “No,” my father replied.

  “The crew just arrived to work on the outside course but they’re bringing too much heavy equipment.”

  “It’s not for the outside course, it’s for the cottage.”

  “What cottage?” Greer asked.

  “Lockie’s. He should have a house. That apartment was never intended for long-term residency.”

  “Are you serious? He’s staying? Staying permanently?”

  No one said anything for a moment.

  “Here’s a suggestion, Greer. Eat, get dressed and go tack up your horse because you still have a lesson at nine,” Lockie said.

  “What would you like for breakfast?” Jules asked.

  “I’ll eat later,” she snarled and left the room.

  “What’s this about a cottage?” Lockie asked as he sat at the foot of the table.

  We each had our places by now. It made us seem like a family, and maybe we were becoming one.

  “You need a house. I don’t know why one wasn’t built long ago. We had a caretaker here but he lived up the road and after my grandfather retired he lived here full-time.”

  “I didn’t know that,” I said spooning some raspberry and white peach preserves onto my plate.

  “Your great-grandparents loved it here. My grandmother was a highly accomplished gardener. She could have been a landscape architect if she had been so inclined. The Howe Museum garden in town was designed by her.”

  “We’ll have to go see that,” Lockie said. “Jules, you’ll come with us?”

  I had a cup of tea lifted halfway to my lips and had to put it back down because I knew I wouldn’t be able to swallow.

  Jules sat next to me and pulled apart a morning bun. “Wouldn’t you two rather be alone?”

  Lockie had an expression of being completely surprised by the suggestion. “No, I don’t think so. Do you, Tali?”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  There was a knock on the door and Rogers came in. “Hi. It finally stopped raining so I wanted to get an early start.”

  “Would you like some breakfast?”

  “No, I ...” Rogers looked at my plate. “Maybe just a little.”

  “Sit down and help yourself,” Jules said.

  My father drained his cup of coffee then got up from the table. “Talia, you’re starting with the tutor next week so create a schedule for your day before then. Lockie, if you’re done, let’s go talk to the contractors and make sure everything is the way you want it.”

  Lockie finished his tea and took his morning bun with him. “We’ll have a group lesson at nine.”

  “I have to ride with Greer?” I asked.

  “You always did before.”

  “I didn’t,” Rogers pointed out.

  “It’s a busy day,” Lockie said as he followed my father outside.

  “How am I going to have a lesson with Greer?” I asked putting my fork down.

  “Try apologizing,” Jules replied.

  “What happened?” Rogers was spooning scrambled eggs and mushrooms onto her plate.

  “I slapped her last night.”

  “No kidding? Wow. She’ll never forgive you,” Rogers said.

  That was the truth. Greer was not big on the whole forgive and forget thing. In her life, she was stacking up real or imagined slights like cord wood. I shouldn’t have slapped her and did feel remorse but also felt she been pushing me for years and had always gotten away with it.

  This year could be different. We’d be going our separate ways, she was going to school and I was staying home. If I made a point of avoiding her, maybe she’d relax a bit. Without the stress of having to qualify for the National Horse Show or having to attract the attention of her riding coach, Greer could focus on something that would make her happy.

  I had no idea what that would be. What made me very happy was to know I’d be spending the next year at the farm instead of wasting time at The Briar School.

  Lockie said I didn’t have anything to make up to CB but that wasn’t the truth. I had to do more with him, be a better friend. Let him sit on my lap.

  We finished breakfast and Rogers drove us down to the barn, passing all the construction workers and the two bulldozers whose tracks were making a mess of the pastures.

  “When is the outside course going to be completed?” Rogers asked.

  “By the end of the week, I think. You’re really looking forward to it?”

  “I sure am.”

  “You hated riding.”

  “I love riding Karneval. Everything happens at the right speed with her. She doesn’t get ahead of me. I don’t feel like it’s all spiraling out of control.”

  I nodded.

  “I love Lockie,” Rogers said. “I don’t mean in that way,” she added quickly. “Love him in a romantic sense. I mean he’s such a good coach that I don’t dread lessons anymore. He doesn’t give me more than I can do.”

  Aren’t you lucky? I thought as she stopped the truck by the barn and I got
out.

  We went into the barn and I continued down the aisle, avoiding the mucking in progress, and grabbed a couple carrots from the small refrigerator in the tack room. Butch was out in the pasture with the ponies with whom he seemed to have an affinity.

  CB’s nose was pushed as far as he could get it between the bars reminding me to speak to one of the workers and ask what it would take to get those removed. I opened the stall door and held out the carrot to him. “Bite,” I said. He clamped his teeth down and I broke the carrot for him.

  “I’m sorry. I’ll do better.” I put my arms around his neck.

  Twenty minutes later Rogers and I were exhausted. Lockie had us ride without stirrups for the entire lesson and we weren’t just doing a nice collected trot, he worked us until my legs were shaking. Greer was impervious to the session because she had to prove she was better than we were. That seemed to be true because when Lockie told us the lesson was over, I collapsed on CB’s neck and Greer shrugged it all off.

  “Don’t leave the farm, Greer. You’ll ride Spare after lunch,” Lockie said as he went to the side door.

  She glared at him.

  “Do you think twenty minutes is enough?” Lockie asked.

  “That’s what you had them do.”

  “They’re going to be working on a different program,” he said. “You have a show in less than two weeks. Get serious about your riding.”

  “Do you think you can talk to me like that just because you’re fooling around with Talia now?”

  “No, I think I can talk to you like that because I’m your coach.”

  “You don’t have to be.”

  “That’s so true. Go find someone else,” Lockie replied.

  “Are you kicking me out of the program?”

  “Yes.”

  “We’ll see how long you last here after I talk to my father.”

  “Go. I think he’s at the cottage site now,” Lockie said as he left the arena.

  Chapter Nine

  Greer prodded Counterpoint and they cantered out of the arena.

  “Wow,” Rogers said. “Is that what it’s like here all the time?”

  “No.” I thought for a moment. “There’s something going on with her.”

  “That’s why you slapped her?”

  “I did that because she called me a bitch one too many times.”

  We headed at a walk down the driveway to cool the horses off. At the open gateway, we turned into the field not only to avoid Greer on her way back, but to see what the progress was on the outside course.

  The ruts from the bulldozer would have to be repaired and the pasture reseeded before the end of October. That would give the new grass a good start for next year but it couldn’t be done while it was still this warm out.

  “Aren’t you going to miss going to school?”

  “No. How are you going to feel about galloping down this hill and having this banked jump in the middle?”

  “I’ve seen worse on the hunt field,” Rogers replied.

  Going up the hill wouldn’t be bad but leaping off the table Lockie had designed would be like becoming airborne. It was not something I wanted to do, even on CB who probably wouldn’t notice it.

  Rogers was holding her reins by the buckle in one hand. I had never seen her do that before.

  “I feel like I found the magic stone and got a new life in a computer game,” she said.

  “Did you get special powers, too?”

  “In a way, I did. Remember that game we used to play, The Hidden Glen?”

  “Yes. How could I forget? We played it for hours in freshman year.”

  It was all about Ireland during the time of the Celts and the players had to make it through a dangerous forest before coming into the glen populated by dangerous beasts and spirits. There was a maze, too, if I recalled correctly. It was difficult and complicated to the degree that I finally gave up on it but Rogers didn’t. Something about making it through the glen with two arms and two legs inspired Rogers. It was devilishly hard to come out the other side without missing at least one body part.

  It was possible to buy special powers but the cost was enormous, an eye or the player’s sword hand. It was a game designed to be one skirmish after another. Not only were there the predictable adversaries, I had felt the game was fighting me, too. Once that occurred to me, it lost all its charm because it was too much like real life.

  “What was the special power presented to you?” I asked as we went around the table jump.

  “More bold than beautiful.”

  In the game, everything was a trade. No one was able to be both attractive and smart. The players were always left with one positive trait and one negative one.

  “You may not be beautiful but you’re cute.”

  “I look like Monsieur Bibendum.”

  “Who?”

  “The Michelin tire logo. Round rolls, puffy. That’s what I look like.”

  “Rogers, you do not.”

  “I’ve lost five pounds this summer.”

  “Good. Don’t worry about what you look like, just concentrate on getting fit.”

  “Given the way Lockie works us, I don’t think there’s a choice. He wants me to jog in the evening.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are you going to?”

  “I started. I can’t run really. I walk fast and then slow down. It’s pathetic.”

  “You need to build up your stamina.”

  “If Lockie can do it, I guess I can.”

  “What do you mean if Lockie can do it?”

  “He runs in the evening after all the chores are done. He told me he runs on the trails, through the woods. Do you go with him?”

  “No.”

  I didn’t know he was running and my first instinct was to wonder if his doctor would approve. What if he fell in the woods? No one would know he was out there. What if he hit his head?

  Then I realized I was just in nursemaid mode again. These were choices he had to make for himself. As much as I wanted him in bubble wrap, I had to accept that he wasn’t going to live like that.

  I just hoped he wasn’t taking Wing out and trying the parts of the course that had been completed.

  When we returned to the barn, Greer was just dismounting from Counterpoint.

  “I hope you’re happy.”

  “Thank you. I am,” I replied truthfully, as I ran up my stirrup iron on the far side then throwing my leg over CB’s neck and sliding to the ground. I ran up the stirrup on the near side. “What am I supposed to be so ecstatic about?”

  “You’re all against me.”

  “I’m not,” Rogers said.

  “What difference does that make?” Greer replied.

  “You said everyone.” Rogers lead Karneval into the barn.

  I was shocked Rogers would talk back to Greer. It had never happened before.

  “Lockie wants to help you. Pull on your big girl panties and do the work.”

  “He’s getting paid to help me.”

  I wanted to say there wasn’t enough money to make him stay here. “It’s called a job.” CB followed me into the barn.

  “He doesn’t help you because he’s being paid,” Greer shouted at me.

  “He’s the trainer at Bittersweet Farm. He’s an extremely well paid babysitter.”

  Greer tossed Counterpoint’s reins to Tracy and she strode down the aisle to where I had CB on the crossties.

  “Lockie ...”

  “What?” I unbuckled the girth. Before I removed the saddle, I turned to Greer. “Rui didn’t care about you. Lockie does. Why don’t you try being just a little bit nicer to him?”

  “So he’s been complaining about me?”

  I picked up the saddle. “No.”

  “I’ll bet he has.”

  Lockie approached me. “What have I been doing?”

  “Complaining about Greer,” I replied.

  “If I wanted to complain about you, I’d do it to
your face,” Lockie said to her. “Why aren’t you putting your horse away?”

  “That’s what Tracy is for.”

  “Tracy,” Lockie called down the aisle. “From this point forward, you do not do Greer’s work for her.”

  “Yes, boss,” Tracy called back.

  Greer flushed red, turned and hurried out of the barn.

  “Your lesson this afternoon is going to be fun,” I commented.

  “I’m sure she’s headed straight for your father’s office to begin dictating terms. She’s going to be so unhappy.”

  “I’ll hose CB off and we’ll go have lunch.” I unclipped his halter from the crossties and began leading him to the wash stall.

  “That’s what I wanted to tell you. I’m going to town for lunch.”

  “Why?”

  “The ex-husband called.”

  “Josh called you? Why?”

  “He wants to have lunch and have a boy to boy talk.”

  “About me?”

  Lockie kissed my cheek. “I will see you in about two hours.” He began turning to leave.

  “Wait.”

  He stopped and I stepped closer to him. I kissed his cheek.

  “That is so much better,” Lockie said with a smile.

  Rogers watched him leave then looked at me. “Tal. You really like each other.”

  I shrugged.

  “I don’t think I’ve seen it before. My parents don’t like each other.”

  “I like Josh.”

  “No, not in this way.”

  “Rogers, stop.”

  “Okay.”

  We started for the house.

  “I’m happy for you.”

  ***

  When we entered the kitchen, I was introduced to my tutor, Amanda Hopkins. Over lunch, she explained the course work as listed on the pages she presented to me. It appeared to be roughly twice the amount of work in a semester at The Briar School. Rogers sat in stunned silence although she managed to eat the sandwich, fruit salad and delicate sable cookies Jules made for us.

  “One other thing your father requested we begin this semester is to develop an organization or charity that benefits the community,” Amanda added as she prepared to leave.

  “What would that be?” I asked.

  “Whatever you would like. It’s an exercise in making an operation work, and learning how to manage funds. Start small. You don’t have to build a hydroelectric facility.”